I woke up the other day and was really excited to wallow in self pity. I began to listen to the lies that tell me that I am not good enough, that I am a failure, and that I am unwanted. It took me a couple hours of abysmal self assessment to realize that I have a recovery tool I was not using.
My cell phone…
In times like these it is the heaviest thing in my house. Feeling like I was unwanted makes it even worse because I started telling myself that nobody would want to hear from me. That was my cue…
I called my sponsor, of course he didn’t answer because he was at a meeting. (I probably should have been too) I then began to go down my phone list and the next alcoholic I called, answered. Him and I spoke about how silly those feelings were. When He answered one of the first things he said to me was “I am so glad you called”, that dispelled every lie I was wallowing in. We began to laugh at how blessed and grateful we both are today.
After I hung up, I miraculously felt better. I went to do some service work and be around people when my sponsor called me back. He lauded what a great job I did by not giving up and calling another alcoholic. Once again joy and laughter ensued. After a while I went to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.
When I arrived at a meeting that I had never been to before, I saw no less than five people I knew and each of them told me how happy they were to see me. Being shown that kind of love was HUGE. I would even say that it was life saving.
So much for being unwanted…
None of this would have been possible had I not picked up my phone. So here is some suggestions for when you feel “less than”;
Say a prayer, call a friend, be of service, and go to a meeting.